Gone Girl (slash sort of also The Imitation Game)

Whoa. I just finished Gone Girl, oh man that girl is CRAAAAAzzzy.

But anyways. Here's what I got from both the movies I watched today (watched Imitation Game earlier): "It really matters that people like you." --> I put that in quotes because it doesn't. But in Imitation Game the girl encourages the guy to be nice to the other guys so that they like him and want to be on his side so he can accomplish his goal. Then in Gone Girl, the reporter / lawyer guy tries to train the guy how to give answers that will make him eventually be liked.

Ugh. Like like like like, heart heart heart heart, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, freaking Group Me. I'm just so sick of it all. Can we all just start being ourselves and stop caring about if people like us? This is why I don't tell very many people about my blogs, because the second I know people are reading them or that certain people are reading them, I start to write what I think they want or will grab their attention or what I think will get me what I want.

That's also what I liked about Gone Girl - when she talks in her "diary" about how when people first meet, they try to be "cool," try to be the person the other person wants them to be. Ugh. That stuff doesn't last, people. It may not turn your marriage into a disturbing, psycho, half real-half fake murder mystery, but it might eventually seem like you married someone you didn't really know. Also we should probably never trust people we just met at a party who are just randomly all-of-a-sudden just soooo into us. I mean it's nice because it sort of makes you feel like, "Huh, yeah I am awesome," but let's be real. None of us are awesome. And people are people. We're flawed. There are some good parts of us, some bad parts of us. And it's nice to live life with a partner, a best friend, a lover; but they will probably not be anything like the fantasy we've been dreaming up in our head our whole life, you know what I'm saying?

I don't even know what I'm saying. I don't know if I'll ever get married, but I do know that I want to be myself, always... when I'm alone, when I'm with my friends, when I'm with people that aren't my friends, and (if it so happens) when I'm married. So I guess that's what I'm saying.

Wild

The screenplay was written by Nick Hornby? Interesting. (I love Nick Hornby, as a book author, by the way, in case you were wondering.)

This movie was inspiring. There were some scenes I had to look away from and take my headphones out. (I'm no longer sitting through stuff that isn't good for me just because the movie is good. Much easier to do when you're not in a theater which is nice, though I love the theater.)

I don't know. She didn't have to do any of that. She didn't have to walk off her sins or whatever she thought she was doing, but her having a goal and setting out to accomplish it was very, very cool. And I love how when you really set out to do something, people start to appear to help you along the way. A lot of these people are just for a season though. I think that's been my problem - instead of realizing God brings me people to help me along the way (and vice versa), I start to forget about the way and start getting obsessed with and distracted by the people.

Lord, help me to stop getting distracted. What is my way? What is my goal? Recognizing this is probably the first step, and then working hard to achieve it slash accepting redirection and help along the way is second. Finishing is third.

I cried a lot through this movie. We just have no idea what's going on in people's heads or what they've been through. Lord open my eyes to humanity. As I work through my own junk, help me have compassion on others, knowing they're going through the same or worse.

I have a pretty privileged life, and I don't feel a need to hike a thousand miles, but I do know I'm supposed to be working hard... harder, but at the right thing.

Philippians 3:14 says, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." 

Lord, help me understand what the goal is and how to press on toward it. Amen.

Still Alice

I cried a lot at this one. Again I might just be in a crying mood, but I don't know, my mom always thinks she has Alzheimer's. She's only 56, so she's mostly joking (I think, I hope!), but still it made me think of her.

And the Kristen Stewart character.... of course I thought of myself. I know my mom probably thinks I'm so obsessed with acting and my pursuits in LA that I wouldn't take care of her if she ever needs me to one day, but actually because I "do acting," my life is pretty open for things like that. That's the main thing that stood out to me in the movie - that the youngest daughter, who was the least accomplished and had the least going on in her life, actually ended up having the greatest, most purposeful life because she was able to truly show love to her mom.

Sometimes I think I don't have a purpose. I do babysitting and random jobs, and acting once in a while. I have no great career, no husband (not even a boyfriend), and I'm thirty-one. That's old to be not settled down or having your life together, but I know the greatest thing God is calling me to do is love, and it's cool that with my "lack of a life," I actually am more free to do that.

Cake

Oh, Daniel Barnz. I saw Phoebe in Wonderland at Sundance 2008, and it was wonderful. Then years later I rented some Beauty and the Beast adaptation with Mary Kate Olsen that was awful.

I like this version of Halo. (I'm letting the credits play in the background right now. That's my favorite part after watching a piercing movie, to let the credits and music soak over me as I seep it all in.)

To be honest, the movie was slow-paced. I was bored a little. There were some funny lines like, "This thief can cook." And Anna Kendrick was magnetically joyful evil with her few lines. And Jennifer Aniston was really good. It's hard to watch Chris Messina and not think of him as Danny Castellano, so I'm a little surprised they cast him as that part, but whatever.

It made me cry. It was a little hard to watch. It made me think of pain in general and loss, so that was therapeutic I guess.

I'm glad the movie was hopeful, but I'm a little confused if she's going to get together with the widower or her husband. I guess it doesn't matter? Just seems the story's missing a little of the development, but anyways it wasn't bad. I wanted to know more about her and her son and what really happened, but I enjoyed the parts that were revealed anyway.

Gosh I'm just like sad right now and I'm thinking about my brother.

That's it. I need to get up and eat something and go to dance class.

Whiplash

I liked this movie. I LOVE Miles Teller, omigosh he is such a good actor (and pretty cute too :) ). But I'm not sure about the message of this movie. I like that Andrew was motivated and nothing could get him down and he worked his butt off to get what was in his heart to get. BUT....... love and relationships are SO important. I'm not saying he needed to be with that girl. Oh man those scenes were great, by the way. Ugh. I hate-loved that scene in the restaurant where he was so blunt in predicting the future of their relationship and how it would go so badly in light of how focused on music he is. It was pretty tragic and it hurt her pretty bad, but actually he was saving her from a pretty rough life by doing that.

The movie was a little obvious at times - with his family at the table, wasn't a huge fan of the lack of subtlety in the writing.

Oh but talk about not-obvious writing (or acting) - oh man, when Andrew first asks Nicole out, oh MAN, her initial response is freaking killer. I was like, Wha??! And Andrew's response to her response, oh MAN, it was so awesome, I really thought it was the end, I was like, No way! I love that kind of writing. Reminds me of my ex-boyfriend and when we went on our first date and at the end of hours and hours of talking about life and God and all these good things, he goes, "Do you want to go smoke a bong with me?" And I was like, "[shocked] Um.." And he was like, "I'm kidding!!" And I laughed awkwardly and was like, "Oh..." And then he's like, "But seriously, do you want to go smoke a bong with me?" I was like [face-wise], What?? And he's like, "I'm kidding!! I'm just testing you." Okay.....

But anyways, the teacher... good acting, awful teacher, loved the plot line of it with Andrew fighting him / speaking out, but to have him come back to him, be used by him, show him up, and then all of a sudden they're working together again, I don't know, that was like too much back-and-forth strangeness at the end there. It felt sort of abrupt. And I'm not sure if Andrew proved he could motivate himself or that teacher-abuse-motivation was exactly what he needed.

Either way, can we all agree that Andrew - though motivated and a hard worker - was a little motivated for the wrong reasons? To try to win favor with his family, to make a name for himself, to be the best no matter who he had to step on or lose on the way. I don't know. I like the dedication and self-discipline, but I'm afraid if the movie were to continue, he would end up turning into a pretty similar version of the abusive teacher, with no friends and with music as an idol.

But since there were many scenes that showed him to be a reasonable person and to care about others, maybe he will become the musician that figures out how to do both. Maybe he finds a new girl. Maybe he becomes a great teacher who inspires and pushes but doesn't do so in a vicious and cruel way.

I did like the line, "There are no two words in the English language more harmful than, 'Good job.'" Wow. I mean, it's a little extreme, but yeah, I do think in general we as a culture need to be more truthful and push harder so people can really become who they are supposed to become. But doing that should come out of love for others, it's "truth in love," not just truth, and certainly not truth in cruelty and physical abuse.

Ephesians 4:15 says, "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head that is Christ" (NIV). We are all meant to become who we are supposed to be, so that we can work together to fulfill God's purpose. That is the true purpose, and it may involve staying disciplined with and getting better at music, but it is not music for music's sake. That would be crazy. There is only one God, and music is just one of his many beautiful creations, so let's worship Him and not it. Okay? Okay. (And maybe one day I'll get to do a scene with Miles Teller. :) )

The Theory of Everything

This was truly a beautiful movie. The main line that stood out to me was, "I'm not very ambitious. Is that a sin?"

Stephen Hawking is very ambitious (obviously). The choir director Jonathan is not, but he is doing something that he loves, he's helping people, and he's falling in love. And that seems like a good enough life to me.

I should be talking about the beautiful story of love in the movie: how Jane loved Stephen so much that she chose to be with him even after knowing the circumstances, and they had only been dating a short time! Love is so powerful. Seems it can get us to do anything, and it's cool when it gets us to do something truly good. But I wonder if she would have stayed with him if he didn't have a disease, like if they had just continued to date in the regular college way, would she maybe have broken up with him because of his lack of belief in God and things? She seemed much more compatible with Jonathan, or someone like that anyways, someone a little more down-to-earth and laid back.

Anyways, it's not really worth analyzing. Jane did a lot for Stephen, and how great that he had her. She really did love him, and that kind of sacrificial love is so rare and beautiful. So maybe we women do like to help men and "fix them" or "save them" or whatever, but I don't think it's as wrong as everybody acts like it is. It's in our nature to be caring, and when someone comes along our path we want to care for, why not? Especially if we love them.

Jonathan wanted to help Stephen and Jane, and that was fueled by romantic love as well. But who cares? Again, if romantic love can motivate you to do something truly good, I think that's the best kind.

Even Elaine, Stephen's later caretaker, you could tell she truly enjoyed him. I don't know if she had romantic feelings for him or not, but you could see that taking care of him gave her energy. She really liked it, whereas by that point Jane had been drained from it.

I'm not here to analyze if what Stephen and Jane did in and with their marriage was right, but it is interesting to note that I think it's okay if our lives are driven by love, as long as it's leading us to good, to true love I guess, which is really more about giving and serving.

But also I think all true love comes from God. He was the one that loved us first and gave us the ability to have that for others, so to not acknowledge Him... I just couldn't do that. I love Jane's heart for God and for doing the right thing. She's not perfect, but then, "No one is good--except God alone" (Mark 10:18b, NIV).

The part in Stephen Hawking's speech where someone asks him about his disbelief in God and if he has a philosophy that helps him, honestly I didn't understand what his philosophy was. Usually when people try to give an answer for hope that's not God, it usually sounds wordy and confusing, though perhaps eloquent sort of, and then people clap. People love when you have something "beautiful" to say about life that doesn't make you have to acknowledge a being you have to obey and submit to. But what they don't know is that obedience and submission to God is where we find true life and hope and freedom, and true love.

Timer

Okay I seriously really enjoyed this movie. My friend Aprile recommended it to me but then took back her rec two days later when she realized the movie has an obvious parallel to my life that may or may not be helpful.

I'm glad I watched it anyway. There were so many plot twists, I actually didn't know what was going to happen, the whole time. Like there were so many moments where I was like, Wait, what? But they were believable moments that totally made sense after they were shown.

I'm trying to figure out what the point of the movie is though. I think the point is..

Oh should I tell you what the movie's about first?? (If you haven't noticed, I don't really write movie "reviews," I just kind of use movies as a prompt to get me writing about something.) Well basically it's about how people get these timers implanted that tell them how many days, hours, minutes it will be until they meet "the one." And pretty much everyone has them, except for the few people that "don't believe in it" or whatever, even though the timers have been proven a hundred percent of the time. They're supposed to help you avoid heartbreak, divorce, etc.

But I think the movie's point is that the natural way is best because even the people in your life that weren't the one were still important. They may have left a scar, but it's a "good scar" or whatever.

I'm not sure I totally believe that. Like, yeah, I think the natural way is best, no timer for me. But I don't think that means we should jump into every relationship (and yes the main girl did jump into a pretty obviously unworkable relationship - I mean, it could have worked, but it would have been really hard / weird). I think we should meet people and move slowly and if it seems like they might be the one, continue to move forward. If not, we should back off slowly, or quickly (but that's hard sometimes).

I don't think the main girl was being smart. I think she was sort of depressed, and then a cute guy hit on her, and then he played his music, and yeah, that'll get you. So I'm not judging her. (I'm DEFINITELY not judging her.) But I'm just saying for future, when you're depressed, like go to God or something. Or do something you love to do to get your mind off guys or call up a good friend or something, something that's not drugs or the wrong guy. That's what I learned.

But if we're not talking about learning and we're just talking about entertainment, yeah, of course I wanted her to end up with the kid. He was super cute, and we (the audience) really grew to like him! (Except for those few obvious moments when we're like, Dude, you're talking about random girls' boobs in front of her, not cool.) He was cool though. And he did have some pretty cool views about life that sort of shook up the main character's beliefs (slash sort of ? changed them, but not really right cause she still ended up with the timer guy). I don't know. The message isn't clear, but I don't think movies' "messages" need to be, I mean it's a movie, not a sermon, and we the people should be the ones to figure out the truth about it. Yeah?

So I'm telling you: don't make quick decisions out of desperation or just for the experience. Live what you believe. Well first believe something awesome (read: true), and then live it. And watch the good things come from that, cause those stories are the best (and usually with less scarring).