The Theory of Everything

This was truly a beautiful movie. The main line that stood out to me was, "I'm not very ambitious. Is that a sin?"

Stephen Hawking is very ambitious (obviously). The choir director Jonathan is not, but he is doing something that he loves, he's helping people, and he's falling in love. And that seems like a good enough life to me.

I should be talking about the beautiful story of love in the movie: how Jane loved Stephen so much that she chose to be with him even after knowing the circumstances, and they had only been dating a short time! Love is so powerful. Seems it can get us to do anything, and it's cool when it gets us to do something truly good. But I wonder if she would have stayed with him if he didn't have a disease, like if they had just continued to date in the regular college way, would she maybe have broken up with him because of his lack of belief in God and things? She seemed much more compatible with Jonathan, or someone like that anyways, someone a little more down-to-earth and laid back.

Anyways, it's not really worth analyzing. Jane did a lot for Stephen, and how great that he had her. She really did love him, and that kind of sacrificial love is so rare and beautiful. So maybe we women do like to help men and "fix them" or "save them" or whatever, but I don't think it's as wrong as everybody acts like it is. It's in our nature to be caring, and when someone comes along our path we want to care for, why not? Especially if we love them.

Jonathan wanted to help Stephen and Jane, and that was fueled by romantic love as well. But who cares? Again, if romantic love can motivate you to do something truly good, I think that's the best kind.

Even Elaine, Stephen's later caretaker, you could tell she truly enjoyed him. I don't know if she had romantic feelings for him or not, but you could see that taking care of him gave her energy. She really liked it, whereas by that point Jane had been drained from it.

I'm not here to analyze if what Stephen and Jane did in and with their marriage was right, but it is interesting to note that I think it's okay if our lives are driven by love, as long as it's leading us to good, to true love I guess, which is really more about giving and serving.

But also I think all true love comes from God. He was the one that loved us first and gave us the ability to have that for others, so to not acknowledge Him... I just couldn't do that. I love Jane's heart for God and for doing the right thing. She's not perfect, but then, "No one is good--except God alone" (Mark 10:18b, NIV).

The part in Stephen Hawking's speech where someone asks him about his disbelief in God and if he has a philosophy that helps him, honestly I didn't understand what his philosophy was. Usually when people try to give an answer for hope that's not God, it usually sounds wordy and confusing, though perhaps eloquent sort of, and then people clap. People love when you have something "beautiful" to say about life that doesn't make you have to acknowledge a being you have to obey and submit to. But what they don't know is that obedience and submission to God is where we find true life and hope and freedom, and true love.

Timer

Okay I seriously really enjoyed this movie. My friend Aprile recommended it to me but then took back her rec two days later when she realized the movie has an obvious parallel to my life that may or may not be helpful.

I'm glad I watched it anyway. There were so many plot twists, I actually didn't know what was going to happen, the whole time. Like there were so many moments where I was like, Wait, what? But they were believable moments that totally made sense after they were shown.

I'm trying to figure out what the point of the movie is though. I think the point is..

Oh should I tell you what the movie's about first?? (If you haven't noticed, I don't really write movie "reviews," I just kind of use movies as a prompt to get me writing about something.) Well basically it's about how people get these timers implanted that tell them how many days, hours, minutes it will be until they meet "the one." And pretty much everyone has them, except for the few people that "don't believe in it" or whatever, even though the timers have been proven a hundred percent of the time. They're supposed to help you avoid heartbreak, divorce, etc.

But I think the movie's point is that the natural way is best because even the people in your life that weren't the one were still important. They may have left a scar, but it's a "good scar" or whatever.

I'm not sure I totally believe that. Like, yeah, I think the natural way is best, no timer for me. But I don't think that means we should jump into every relationship (and yes the main girl did jump into a pretty obviously unworkable relationship - I mean, it could have worked, but it would have been really hard / weird). I think we should meet people and move slowly and if it seems like they might be the one, continue to move forward. If not, we should back off slowly, or quickly (but that's hard sometimes).

I don't think the main girl was being smart. I think she was sort of depressed, and then a cute guy hit on her, and then he played his music, and yeah, that'll get you. So I'm not judging her. (I'm DEFINITELY not judging her.) But I'm just saying for future, when you're depressed, like go to God or something. Or do something you love to do to get your mind off guys or call up a good friend or something, something that's not drugs or the wrong guy. That's what I learned.

But if we're not talking about learning and we're just talking about entertainment, yeah, of course I wanted her to end up with the kid. He was super cute, and we (the audience) really grew to like him! (Except for those few obvious moments when we're like, Dude, you're talking about random girls' boobs in front of her, not cool.) He was cool though. And he did have some pretty cool views about life that sort of shook up the main character's beliefs (slash sort of ? changed them, but not really right cause she still ended up with the timer guy). I don't know. The message isn't clear, but I don't think movies' "messages" need to be, I mean it's a movie, not a sermon, and we the people should be the ones to figure out the truth about it. Yeah?

So I'm telling you: don't make quick decisions out of desperation or just for the experience. Live what you believe. Well first believe something awesome (read: true), and then live it. And watch the good things come from that, cause those stories are the best (and usually with less scarring).

Wish I Was Here

So I meant to see Zach Braff's "Wish I Was Here" a long time ago because I lovvveeeeeddddd Garden State so much, but then the whole Kickstarter thing happened and it threw me off and made me think things like, "Why is this celebrity using Kickstarter?" And then after it came out it didn't get the most amazing reviews, so I was like, Eh.. I'll see it when I see it.

But THENNNN, SAG Foundation created a screening event for it with a question / answer sesh with Zach Braff, and I'm like, WHA??!!!! AHHHHHHH I HAVE TO GO TO THIS.

Zach Braff, I love you. Not really, but like I really like your writing, and I really really really loved Garden State, at the time (not that I don't like it now, but you know what I mean.) You said it yourself, that you write about what you're already talking about, and Garden State was about things you thought about during that time, which were apparently things I was thinking about during that time too.

And now in Wish I Was Here, you wrote about stuff you're thinking about now -

• the struggle with going after your dreams and how long you're allowed to do that (omigosh RIGHT?, I love this theme in the movie for sure)
• masculinity and what it means to be a man in 2014 (right on..)
• death and what the hell we're doing on this planet (yes, this is what really matters, and I like the part where you say there are certain people who are sure, and you're kind of jealous about that or something?? I can't remember, I only saw it at the screening and it wasn't loud enough and people were laughing over a lot of the lines and people's heads were in my way)

But even with all that distraction, I really liked the movie! There were so many beautiful moments and great dialogue pieces. Oh man, I cried a few times, and also laughed really hard. 

I think my favorite scene (besides the girl talking to her uncle on the phone) is when you're at the audition and you end up helping that guy in the waiting room, and he's like, "Why are you helping me?" And you're like, "Watch out it might be kindness." OMIGOSH. I actually think I wrote a blog about this a while back, about how I feel so weird when I go to auditions because I automatically am comparing myself with everyone and hoping they all fail and it's so terrible. I started thinking like Wow, I should not be thinking these things. I should be hoping the best for everyone and ultimately hoping the director can get the perfect person for their vision, hopefully it will be me, but if not, then good for someone else then you know? Competing with kindness - that's a theme in my life right now for sure. 

Anyways it really was a beautiful movie and I'd like to watch it again sometime alone so I can really pay attention and have no heads or laughter in my way, but I wanted to tell you I'm sorry about the Kickstarter judgment. I had no idea how hard it was for you to get Garden State made and then again the difficulties with doing the second movie. And I loved what you had to say about your writing style and the industry and your challenges, it was so interesting and inspiring. 

Thank you for continuing to do the things you love and write what's in your heart and not just trying to please people. And I want to check out your play!